We all know the feeling. Waking up on that dreaded day, full of nauseating pink and red decorations, cringy candy hearts, and your best friend’s excitement for her three-month-long situationship celebration. For those who think of Valentine’s Day in this glum light, it’s hard to imagine how to spend the day with your relationship-loving friends. To alleviate some of the stress of being a third wheel on this special holiday, here are a few of the most creative ways to feel included in your friend’s romantic dates:
The first place to insert yourself within their festivities — perhaps the most common excursion for happy couples, and one of the most daunting for their third wheel — is a fancy dinner. Most likely, the couple will have made a reservation weeks in advance, and there’s an unlikely chance you could join their table. However, there’s most definitely a seat still available at the restaurant for a lonely single, especially if that lonely single is willing to saddle up at the bar and have a conversation with an equally lonely barista. If you happen to bond with said barista over, let’s say, loneliness, you can slide into a table closer to the unsuspecting couple. It’s important to stay on top of all your third-wheel duties. If you still feel separated from your favorite duo, you can attempt to accompany the server to their table, at which point you might be able to find a peaceful (and much closer) spot to sit beneath their table. However, be warned about the notable lack of food that hiding beneath a tablecloth offers. If you keep a napkin in your lap, you might be able to catch a few crumbs that would tie you over. Otherwise, you may have to listen hungrily to their conversation and gorge on leftover pizza several hours later.
Another frequent date activity and nightmare scenario for a tagalong is catching a movie at a theater. Luckily, there are almost always tickets available at the door for all relationship add-ons that the couple so surprisingly forgot about. Once inside the movie theater, your best bet is to sit on the armrest between the couple, as they will then have no choice but to engage with you, if for no other reason than to ask you to hold the popcorn bag.
For Valentine’s Days that fall during academic weekdays, there is an entirely new host of problems third wheels can run into. The chances are high that your best friend will desert you during your usual Community Time run to Big Bear for a romantic mid-school day brunch with their special someone. If you have access to your own car, the easiest solution is to leave just before the couple and put on your best acting skills once you arrive at their designated meeting location. Find a table and pretend that you’ve been having a leisurely meal for quite some time. When the happy couple enters, wave at them. They will have no choice but to politely have a seat with you and include you in their romantic getaway from school. Now, if you aren’t fortunate enough to have access to your own car, the solution is surprisingly simple. Find one of the duo’s cars in North Lot and hide for a while in the trunk until they arrive. After last year’s senior assassin game, it seems every student car on campus is unlocked 24-7, meaning this option is very much on the table.
Finally, the most public and accolade-garnering way to show that you truly are a dedicated and loveable third wheel would be to win indisputably in The Nobleman’s Bestie vs. Bae-piece. Get to know your best friends’ favorite foods, TV shows, and classes (all in a perfectly inconspicuous way, of course). When your interview finally rolls around, you’ll be able to get every question correct, beating out your best friend’s partner and firmly cementing yourself as the most compatible match for your BFF. After this public show of your commitment, your best friend will have no other choice but to invite you out for a celebratory dinner, where their partner will become the new faithful tagalong. Ah, how the tables have turned!
While Valentine’s Day can seem intimidating for many third wheels, finding creative ways to still celebrate with your favorite couple can make the day one to remember. With these methods, may your thoughts on Valentine’s Day be that of creativity and ingenuity, instead of resignation.
