The Nobleman decided that, in preparation for Valentine’s Day, the staff would open a drop box for questions relating to students’ most embarrassing romance stories. Check out some of your classmates’ submissions below.

1st confession:

Dear Nobleman, 

I have to admit, I do like to get what I want, even if that means feeding into my own impractical delusions. My most embarrassing moment was last Valentine’s Day when I let my delusions run free. I had this crush for a long time. That’s normal! Everyone has crushes, and everyone wants a rose on the most romantic holiday from their crush. That is also completely normal! 

See, leading up to the day, I was feeling pretty confident about receiving a flower from a special somebody. I said “hi” to her in the hallways, and when she didn’t say “hi” back, I knew she probably just didn’t hear me. And when I turned around and ran up to her and said “hi” for the second time, she didn’t say “hi” again? Her disturbed expression was probably just her trying to cover up her love for me! We had a couple of meet-cute interactions where she would ignore me, I would ask her repeatedly to respond, and she never would; it was our own little game! It was great! 

However, on the morning of Valentine’s Day, well after I bought my annual 100 CAC roses for her, I had a strange and scary thought: What if she liked someone else? I mean, that was impossible, right? Our love had to be mutual! We were perfect for each other! Yet, I had this gut feeling that something was wrong. There was only one logical response to this feeling: Hack the Nobles rose website and figure out who she sent roses to, and, in the horrible event that she sent a rose to someone else, erase it and send it to me. Along with the help of the AP Computer Science classes, we hacked the rose site’s mainframe and found the roses. 

It was all downhill from there. Three roses to three other love interests. I wasn’t the only one. I would have never expected this. I was devastated. After regrouping with a small crying session, I redirected her roses to the appropriate people: me, me, and me. Looking back, she probably just misclicked because she didn’t even send one to me. That must have been it, right? That night, I learned some earth-shattering news. She was dating someone. She posted it on her Instagram story. How could she? I thought we were meant to be. Anyways, my main question for you, Nobleman staff: Do I still have a chance?

Lovingly, 

Your Favorite Hacker

2nd confession:

Dear Nobleman,

Was math the move? Let me explain. It was finally the day. Specifically, it was finally Valentine’s Day: the day I opened Snapchat and texted her for the first time, so that I could set up our future rose exchange, our relationship, and our eventual marriage. I learned from my friends that the way to a woman’s heart is through talking to them. Apparently, they also like it when you give them attention and act like you like them. Who knew? Well, as daunting as it is, I decided that my way of talking to her would be through texting and snapping. I know. It’s pretty risky. So much can go wrong. I could send the wrong emoji, express the wrong tone, or worst of all, go into chat when I just wanted to half-swipe. 

On the morning of Valentine’s Day, I woke up drenched in sweat, petrified by all the possible mistakes I could make, which could destroy our perfectly planned-out future together. My fingers trembled as I went into chat and started typing. What is nonchalant but still interesting? What would catch her attention but still sound chill and relaxed? I lingered in chat for maybe 3 minutes before typing out two letters: “Hi.” That was chill, right? Or was “hey” better? I’m not sure. Well, anyway, she responded within a minute: “Hey.” That meant she liked me, right? It had to. To keep this riveting conversation going, I then sent the phrase that would make or break our future: “Did you do the math homework?” Frankly, this was elite ball knowledge. It was the perfect way to start a talking stage while also making the other person question whether you were just asking for homework answers. With quivering hands, I awaited her reply. Right before I left for school, she replied, “Yeah. Did you?” She responded! Girls never respond to me, let alone in such a short time frame. I was in. She had to have liked me. She definitely sent me a rose. With a wide smile, I then proceeded to send her 10 crush roses, sealing the deal for our future relationship.

 The entire day, I was on edge waiting for the rose results to come out. At 5 p.m., as I stood by my computer ready for the results, I checked my Snapchat to see if I had any notifications. Terrified, I realized that I had never responded to her message. No, no, no. This was the end of us. Teary-eyed, I hesitantly opened the portal to the roses. I got one rose. From my advisor. My heart sank. I blew it. I was so close to getting a rose from the love of my life, and I blew it. 

After some quiet reflection time, I replied to her message from the morning with a Snap. She responded within 30 seconds. OMG. Maybe it wasn’t over? The only rational thing to do at this moment was shoot my shot again. “Did u do the English homework?” She didn’t respond. Nobleman, can you help me? Should I have asked about math again?

Sincerely, 

The Guy Who Never Quits