There’s no perfect assembly docket, or is there? The best assemblies are packed with moments like students dramatically failing a blind karaoke battle against their classmate or stumbling to win a balloon obstacle course. From surprise guest performances to spontaneous standing ovations for every act, this dream assembly docket is full of the moments that make everyone in Lawrence laugh and cheer, the moments that only happen at Nobles.
The assembly begins with a musical performance that immediately quiets the auditorium and draws the audience in. Oskar and Ollie Jacobs (Classes II and III, respectively) take the stage first, their harmonies precise and timing perfect, offering a glimpse into how beloved sibling performances truly are. For this dream docket, they launch into a Noah Kahan cover, “False Confidence,” their voices weaving together on the quiet, introspective verses before swelling into the song’s emotional chorus. Oskar’s subtle guitar riffs perfectly complement both of their expressive vocals, and the entire auditorium is utterly captivated. It’s entirely quiet except for the occasional hum from the audience and the slow, back-and-forth wave of everyone’s phone flashlight, a moment unforgettable for students.
Following the musical act is a well-crafted Nobleman announcement. Hailey Rashes (Class I) takes the stage with the attitude of a late-night news anchor, declaring that the school has been thrown into chaos: “Reports are coming in that students are wandering the halls without The Nobleman in hand. Panic is spreading. Teachers are questioning their lesson plans. The school has gone on high alert.” Tension builds as she explains the mysterious disappearance of the last editions, complete with frantic searches. Until, finally, the crisis is resolved: the newest issue of The Nobleman is officially available, and students are encouraged to pick up a copy before it vanishes quickly, as it always does.
Next on the docket are the interactive activities, beginning with Isabel Goddard’s (Class I) and Lia Gavin’s (Class I) balloon games. These exercises combine physical movement with student engagement, drawing students from the audience into active participation. The centerpiece of the activity is a relay race in which students balance balloons on spoons as they navigate a course across the stage, carefully stepping to avoid dropping their balloon and beating their classmates to the finish line. Every wobble and near miss sends the auditorium into absolute chaos. Students are cheering, laughing, and secretly rooting for a balloon disaster as arms flail and someone inevitably trips. The balloon relay turns the assembly into the perfect mix of energy and friendly competition that only a Nobles assembly can pull off. By the end, everyone is part of the action, whether they are on stage or laughing from their seats.
The final featured act is The Bachelorette video segment, starring Andrew Humphrey (Class I), a contestant. From the moment he lays his eyes on the bachelorette Sierra Munger (Class I), Humphrey communicates exclusively through song, delivering everything from Ed Sheeran ballads to the most dramatic Backstreet Boys hits imaginable in an attempt to win her heart. Every interaction is enacted with a chosen tune, creating a performance that is equal parts absurd and hilarious. His complete commitment to singing every line turns the segment into a highlight of the assembly, drawing laughter and multiple standing ovations from the audience. It closes the docket on a note that is both entertaining and memorable, leaving the audience satisfied by Humphrey’s unrelenting serenades.
After all that, one thing is clear: the perfect assembly docket may not exist … but if it did, it would probably involve balloons, sibling harmonies, and Andrew Humphrey singing everything.
