With the recent outbreaks of norovirus, flu, and other mysterious illnesses, classroom seats are empty, the number of requests for extensions is record-breaking, and friend groups are left divided after the argument of “who spread it.” The few who remain untouched live in absolute fear, camping out in the Shattuck basement and DoorDashing lunch to avoid touching the serving spoons in the Castle. The worst part of the whole affair: Valentine’s Day affection is in jeopardy.
While recent events may spark painful flashbacks to the COVID-19 pandemic, it is essential to ditch the cringe air high fives, and elbow bumps when finding ways to show affection amid the current germs. One of the new top contenders: the air hug. Air hugs are a great way to show your love not only for a significant other but also for your friends (partner-friend-equity is an important value to some). An elevated version of this gesture, the air kiss is a great way to express your feelings of unconditional love. Although this could risk getting some side-eye, blowing a kiss over to your partner from across Lawrence effectively gets the job done and eliminates potential contact with pathogens.
Another Lawrence act of affection would be to write and perform a song for your significant other at assembly. Yes, you may not play an instrument or be able to sing above “re” without a heinous voice crack, but surely the supportive crowd of 750 would recognize your courage and applaud you with a rare standing ovation. However, if you are intimidated by all of these love songs that will soon fill up the assembly docket and want to do something unique to show your crush that you’re just different, reading a poem aloud could be a great option. This romantic poetry would win over not only their heart but also your English teacher’s (who doesn’t love a few bonus points?).
To show your signs of enduring love, you may consider locking in later events. Buying tickets for Noah Kahan at Fenway in 2026 indicates your strong faith in the future of the relationship–the ultimate display of affection. Very similarly, a tattoo of your partner’s name or likeness could potentially be the best route for you. Although there is technically a minimum age of 18 for a legal tattoo, you could try your hand and find someone online (www.tats4teens.com). Be warned, dear reader, that this courageous move could potentially backfire and freak out your beloved. Up to you, read the room.
For more risk-avoidant readers, it is the year to go beyond just sending a boring old “crush rose” and to really push yourself. Offer to be your crush’s designated printer at school, receiving all 14 pages of their lab report about the molecular structure of some random drug you’ve never heard of before. Consider leaving 10+ comments on their Google Doc, hyping them up so that they will have to think of you during the editing process. This is the perfect blend of hitting two love languages at once: acts of service and words of affirmation. While the love language of touch seems impossible during these times, there is a solution. Giving your significant other a foam roller for a self-massage keeps the love alive and the knots at bay.
If you really want to grab your target’s attention and are feeling a little bold, there’s always the option of appealing to their artistic side and planning a flash mob,(without their knowledge, of course.) Nothing screams “I love you” quite like being surrounded by all of your dancing peers while you stand awkwardly in the middle. Your significant other will love you for planning this for them!
If you can just get through this tough Valentine’s Virus, you’ll be canoodling on The Beach and planning your promposals before you know it.
