Eva Yu, Staff Writer

March 8, 2024

As the sun dips below the horizon, a peculiar transformation unfolds within the hallowed halls of Shattuck and the shadowy recesses of Henderson. While students bid farewell to the school day, a different kind of community inhabits the classrooms as Nobles’ notorious rodents emerge from their hiding places to embark on their nightly escapades. Yes, you read that right—the mice are on the move, and they’re not taking any prisoners.

If you’ve ever found yourself lingering late on campus, you may have had the dubious honor of witnessing these mischievous critters in action. From freshmen cowering in alcoves to unsuspecting musicians in the Vinik lobby, no corner of the school is safe from the mice’s reign of terror. But it’s not just innocent bystanders who fall victim to their antics—reports have surfaced of rodents chasing students across campus, leaving chaos and confusion in their wake.

Described as large, daunting, and other-worldly, these rascals have struck fear into the hearts of even the most seasoned seniors. Some students claim to have spotted them standing in the Castle line, eagerly waiting their turn for a hot meal. And if the rumors are to be believed, Taco Tuesdays are a particular favorite among these unlikely connoisseurs.

But while the students cower in fear, the mice seem to be reveling in their newfound notoriety. With each daring adventure, they cement their status as the true rulers of Nobles, leaving a trail of destruction (and perhaps a few nibbled textbooks) in their wake. It’s a rodent revolution unlike anything the school has ever seen–and it shows no signs of slowing down.

In response to the escalating rodent rampage, the school administration has scrambled to implement a series of measures aimed at restoring order to Nobles. From setting traps to issuing stern warnings to students about the dangers of leaving food unattended, no stone has been left unturned in the quest to regain control of campus.

Try as they might, humans seem no match for these tiny adversaries. The mice continue to outwit and outmaneuver their would-be captors, leaving the administration scratching their heads (and occasionally reaching for the nearest broomstick). It’s a battle of wits, and so far, the rodents are winning.

As the sun rises on another day at Nobles, students are left to ponder the true meaning behind the rodent revolution. Are mice simply seeking refuge from the harsh realities of the outside world, or do they harbor grander ambitions of overthrowing their human overlords and establishing a mouse utopia? Only time will tell.

In the meantime, students are advised to proceed with caution and keep a watchful eye out for any unexpected furry visitors. After all, in a school where even the mice have a taste for Taco Tuesdays, anything is possible.

(Graphic Credit: Wudiana Février)