In the 114-2 edition of The Nobleman, there was an article concerning middle school perspectives on the 2024 Presidential Election. With Valentine’s Day (a day obviously more important than the election) around the corner, it is only fair to do the same. Accordingly, The Nobleman ventured off into the depths of the Pratt Middle School once again, searching for middle school students who could answer the vital question: Which seniors are dating?
First up were Tycho Bardon and Sebastian Escobar (Class V) who both initially provided a list of couples they knew were dating. These couples included Jordyn Julien and Noah Douglas (both Class I), and Rory Taylor and Colin Kenney (both Class I). However, the conversation soon transformed into a search through the senior directory where both of the Fifthies looked for possible pairs. From Emma Sawatzky and Nate Madden (both Class I), to Molly MacCurtain and Oliver Burstein (both Class I), to Jasmyn Cooper and Willy Connors (both Class I), Bardon and Escobar were like a well-oiled machine. When Escobar said Shane Gallan and Sophia Hahn (both Class I), Bardon immediately added Gordie Cromwell and Ashley Dinges (both Class I). Bardon and Escobar also did not stop at seniors, as they began looking for senior-junior couples. However, this was more of a struggle. “Juniors are chopped,” Escobar said. Finally, they were able to land on one perfect couple: Noah Peters (Class I) and Carina Grossman (Class II). Overall, while Bardon and Escobar’s meager 8% accuracy may not be ideal, with ample time and practice, they can easily bring it up.
The next middle schooler to be interviewed was Charlie Lara McCannon (Class VI). Unlike Bardon and Escobar, Lara McCannon took a significantly more strategic approach to matchmaking. His first tactic was identifying seniors whose shirt colors in their photos were similar. As a result, he paired Eli Schotland and Sasha Stern (both Class I), as well as Lucas Kemper-Tapia and Sasha Klevens (both Class I). He also looked for seniors whose faces stood out. “I would also say Clare Struzziery and Ethan Train (both Class I) and Altan Marvi and Sara Shaff (both Class I) would be good matches. Their smiles are similar, and I can see them together,” Lara McCannon said. Before departing, Lara McCannon suggested two more couples that were more of a guess: Quinn Maley and Peter Sacerdote (both Class I), and Jayden Yee and Kaitlyn Shi (both Class I). While Lara McCannon went 0-7, his unique strategy is something lonely seniors can employ to find their true love.
Third was Hugh Gilbane (Class V). Having an older brother in Class II, Hugh possessed exclusive knowledge of upper-classmen relationships. Accordingly, he discussed people he often saw together, either in afternoon program or in the halls, or had heard rumors about. These seniors included Thatcher Bernstein and Sage Albright (both Class I), Will Eckford and Emerson Midura (both Class I), and Teddy MacAusland and Hadley Laughlin (both Class I). Gilbane clearly embraced the quality over quantity strategy, solely listing three couples. Unfortunately, this did not work out, as he still fell short, ending with 0% accuracy. Gilbane’s failed strategy stands as a lesson to lonely seniors seeking love. Go for quantity over quality. Shoot your shot at anyone and everyone. Who knows? One might go in.
Lastly, The Nobleman talked with Amy Shen (Class V). Shen approached the task with the same strategy as Bardon and Escobar as she searched through the senior directory. She mentioned Jordyn Julien and Noah Douglas, Emma Sawatzky and Shane Gallan, and Sophia Hahn and Willy Connors. Shen stood out from the rest of her peers, as she finished with an outstanding 67% accuracy. She was successfully able to embrace both Bardon and Escobar’s directory strategy as well as the quality over quantity strategy that Gilbane had sought to reach for, ultimately fueling her senior matchmaking success.
In all, these conversations offer a fantastic starting point for finding senior love. Seniors can utilize the expert knowledge of these five middle schoolers to ignite a shared bond, providing the perfect way for them to spend their Valentine’s Day with someone they love.
