As that fateful Tuesday night steadily approaches and the halls fill with talk of dresses, dates, and decorations, many upperclassmen find themselves in a state of sheer terror. A lot goes into preparation for prom, but what looms above all other tasks is the ever-daunting “Promposal.” l. Worried about whom to ask, how to ask, or even why to ask? Here are some tips from The Nobleman for planning and executing the perfect promposal.
Firstly, under no circumstances should you check with your prom date before proposing. Promposals are meant to be magical and spontaneous. The key to a good promposal is complete unpredictability. Where’s the thrill in asking the person you’re dating? This is your chance to really put yourself out there by blindsiding your potential date and asking them on the spot! Make sure not to text, talk to, or even make eye contact with your desired prom date before the big moment. My advice: Choose your date at random. Maybe ask that one kid you haven’t talked to since freshman year HHC, or that one person in the grade below you who you always make awkward eye contact with in the library during your free period. Or, perhaps you might ask the kid who sat across from you in the Quiet Room once. It is vital that you do not attempt to gauge interest before the promposal. Whoever it is, make sure you’ve had zero prior communication. Checking with them or their friends beforehand only ruins the surprise and kills the whimsy of this time-honored tradition. At that point, why even prompose? You already know what they’re going to say. Your promposal should be entirely unexpected and shocking. This will only increase the fun for both you and the recipient. I mean, who doesn’t love a good surprise?
If you followed the first piece of advice correctly and have either never talked to your prom date or haven’t exchanged a word since your Nobles group interview, you’re all set for step number two in crafting the best promposal yet: Go public. By public, I don’t mean something boring like the Library Coffee Bar or a sports practice—no, no, I mean assembly. What better way to crank up the pressure and spread the joy of prom season than by proposing in front of the entire school and all the teachers at 8:00 a.m.? Nothing says “teen romance” like an early morning ambush and awkward looks around Lawrence. Trust me, your unsuspecting promposal recipient will be thrilled to be publicly singled out and grateful for the surprise to start their day. Just make sure to book as much assembly time as possible. The last thing you want is for the buzzer to go off while you’re waiting for their answer. I know for a fact that Mr. Polebaum would be overjoyed to see assembly time put to such good use, especially given how abundantly free it is from now till the end of the year. So grab a mic, cue the confetti, bang that gong, and take the leap.
If you’re really not feeling assembly, and want something a little more private and personal, make yourself at home in their home. Just drop by. Thanks to the Nobles app, you already have everyone’s address, so there’s no need to check with them or their family first. Simply shimmy through a first-floor window or check under the welcome mat for the classic “just in case” key. Once inside, cozy up in a discreet spot. My personal favorite? Under the bed. Once you’re all set up, it’s just a waiting game. Ideally, your desired date will come home tired and not at all expecting an energetic surprise. Make sure to jump out screaming just as they enter the room. Bonus points if you’re wearing all black and a ski mask. Safety tip: If your target plays baseball, softball, or the cello, remember to duck. The last thing you want is a giant welt on your forehead going into prom night.
Prom is all about taking risks, and promposing is the perfect opportunity. High-stakes, public, unsuspecting, thrilling proposals are always the way to go. When in doubt, always remember: you could pop the question in front of hundreds of people outside of Baker. If you haven’t thoroughly scared your recipient into rethinking prom altogether, have you even promposed?