Six out of 10 Nobles students report suffering aura loss every day, and eight out of 10 students feel as though their levels of nonchalance have slipped since the start of this year. So, how are they combating this devastating epidemic? By turning to aura farming, of course. This long-forbidden agricultural technique is honed down to a science by certain students every year. First, they plant seeds during the harvest season, by being a lone wolf during class retreats, and wearing black to pink-out FNL. As the days grow shorter, aura farmers tend to their sprouts by staying seated during both winter standing ovations and by showing everyone how cool they are wearing shorts in January. Finally, as the sun begins to shine again, the farmers’ aura begins to bloom, as they can be caught showing up a fashionable 35 minutes late to class and mewing in prom pictures. All of this admittedly increases these certain people’s aura. But at what cost?
In case the Nobleman’s only older audience is confused, aura is not just a visible glow. It is essentially one’s “coolness,” numericized on a points system that changes based on actions. Certain things can boost aura (e.g., prowling the Shattuck halls alone +2000 aura) or take it away (e.g., voicecracking while prefecting assembly -5000 aura). Basically, someone gains aura by being nonchalant and mysterious, and loses it by not wearing headphones around school. Aura farming, however, is not to be confused with actually having aura. Aura farming means trying really hard to get aura, which defeats the whole system’s purpose. People who are really that nonchalant just let the aura flow to them. Meanwhile, aura farmers force it, and try to irrigate soil that was just never fertile in the first place.
The Nobleman reached out to some undisputed aura factories of the school to see how they did it. Although certain people were a little too nonchalant to respond to their emails, most were eager to oblige. The first step to aura farming is clearly confidence. Nahman Mack (Class III) immediately ranked his aura a 10/10, then said that he did not actively try to aura farm. “It just happens naturally. It’s not my fault I was gifted this jawline,” he said. Another classic farmer, Jackson Fai (Class II), agreed that the nonchalance was unintentional. “I think my normal state of low energy is confused with being mysterious. I do not actively try to aura farm,” Fai said. As it can be clearly seen, the nonchalance surfaces in everything they do, even when discussing their greatest passion of aura farming. They cannot be seen expressing emotion or putting energy into anything, or else they will lose everything.
However, this is a silly system. Aura farming should halt its production. Although it boosts a select few, it comes at the expense of the community at large. Nobles should be a place where people are unafraid to try new things and put themselves out there, without a word of judgement. Although this might seem like a big jump from a slang word, aura is representative of a perfectionistic and judgmental school of thought.
Aura farming means never being vulnerable, never putting yourself out there, and requiring perfection when it is not necessary. Aura points are a ridiculous system that should not be attempted to be reframed (as in adding aura if you make a mistake), but discarded entirely. The word is an easy way of saying something much more significant. And even if one believes this is an exaggeration, students can see manifestations of this thinking every morning. There are no longer any wild, wacky, and ought-to-fail performances in assembly. Fringe Fest, a time that should have been a haven for mistakes, felt filled with stiff, rehearsed performances of mildly silly premises. Standing ovations are few and far between, and when they come, most of the student body begrudgingly rises, if they rise at all. Some are worried about the way they will be perceived if they attempt to stand. Others simply don’t care enough to. Although it has joking connotations at a surface level, aura, as a word, is representative of both perfectionism and judgment, two things that should be eliminated as much as possible from the campus of Nobles. One is never too nonchalant to put themselves out there, or to celebrate someone else who has. One should never be acting “too cool for school,” because at Nobles, no one is.
