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According to the 2010 United States Census, the most common first letter for a last name is “M.” 25.6 million Americans, accounting for nearly 10% of the nation’s population, share this characteristic. To most, this lexicographic affinity has little significance in life trajectory, but at Nobles, a common latter initial determines one key thing: The first face you see every morning.
An assembly buddy relationship is no unilateral affair. A healthy relationship between seatmates is contingent upon a certain level of commitment from each buddy. With mutual trust at the core of these relationships, it’s remarkable to see how many friendships have been forged through arbitrarily adjourned seats. Given how demanding it is to establish a positive assembly buddy relationship, would you believe that a pair of assembly buddies went on to get married? What if I said that it happened twice, to two different Fai siblings?
Caitlin Fai (N ’10) and Andrew Fai (N ’14) married Nate Ellis (N ’10) and Audra Fitzgerald (N ’14), their respective assembly buddies. Nobles offers a wide variety of settings in which to build community and friendships, but routine meetings in Lawrence are what brought Caitlin and Nate together. “In seventh grade and eighth grade, he was the guy always on my right side, and that’s how we developed our friendship,” Caitlin said. Conversing over the morning’s announcements and performances, the two maintained a strong dynamic even as seating arrangements changed in the Upper School. “Jake Ezickson came between us in ninth grade, but I made Jake sit on the other side of me so we could stay next to each other,” Caitlin said.
Caitlin and Nate’s assembly connection was not always consistent. “Senior year, I would always have an empty seat next to me because Nathan would go to get Cafe Fresh bagels in the morning[…], so he was usually late,” Caitlin said. When I inquired if detentions were administered for assembly absences in 2010, Nate said, “We can skip over that.”
Around this time, Cate Ellison, Andrew Fai, Audra Fitzgerald, and Julia Fitzgerald gained notoriety as a prominent row in the sixie section. “We were juniors when Andrew and Audra started in seventh grade, so I got to see them as friends in middle school,” Caitlin said.
“We were a social bunch. I’m sure we got yelled at to stop talking at some point, but it was a good time while it lasted,” Audra said. Complications arose in high school that split Audra and Andrew up in the mornings. Not only did new classmates get between the two, but Andrew chose to join the booth crew in junior year. Despite their disjunction, Andrew and Audra still connected through cross-country meets and a crew training trip in Oakland, California, during their sophomore year.
Both couples started dating in college. Long-distance relationships can be difficult to manage and maintain, but Andrew claims that six years together at Nobles made it feasible. “It just builds such a solid foundation, so that helped us a lot,” he said. Audra added that in addition to the time they spent together, Nobles also provided a special place for them to get to know each other. “Nobles is very much a school that promotes well-roundedness. We had experienced each other in a lot of contexts, and so we had a lot of confidence going into a relationship from having known each other on as many dimensions as we did,” she said.
Caitlin certainly acknowledges how extraordinary it is that both she and her brother share this rare experience. “We joke sometimes that we could be part of the marketing scheme of–‘You could meet your future person on the first day of school!’” she said. Their stories demonstrate how lifelong relationships can evolve. “In high school, you might be good friends with some people, and you might not be great friends with other people, but how you leave things with people when you graduate is not a fixed thing,” she said. Things change, and if you haven’t hit it off with your assembly buddy just yet, know that it’s never too late!