Morgan Gibson & Nathan Nozea, Staff Writers
December 8, 2023
The holiday season is upon us! For many students, these weeks feel most like a countdown to winter, so hopefully these Holiday Hot takes will entertain you between the grind, and remind you that sometimes it’s okay to be right. Note that these are both Morgan’s and Nathan’s genuine opinions on these topics: square up about them if you want to accept the challenge. So grab yourself a cup of cocoa because these takes are pipin’ hot.
Elf
To start off our list of hot takes, we’ll first take a look at Elf, a movie that is dubbed by many as the “best holiday film of all time.”
Nathan:
Elf: Ignoring the sheer absurdity of this statement, Elf is—without a doubt—a trainwreck of a story. The movie revolves around a character named Buddy, who attempts to reconnect with his family after he was accidentally brought to the North Pole. Though Will Ferrell tries to bring a certain charm to the movie’s comedy, most of the jokes end up falling flat. Cringy, dragged-out scenes meant to elicit only a cheap laugh from the audience left me with a strong feeling of second-hand embarrassment, as I silently counted the minutes until the end of this travesty. Not only is the comedy horrendous, but the message of the movie itself is superficial and surface-level. Through Buddy’s conflict with his dad, the film tries to embrace the idea that the Christmas spirit is for everyone, regardless of your age. This “message” is unbelievably unfathomable. As an adult, why do you feel the need to act like a child? Maybe instead focus on tax season, or try growing your LinkedIn profile.
Morgan:
Elf is a holiday classic for good reason. I know that, personally, I have not gone one year without laying my eyes on this magnificent work of film. Will Ferrell’s comedic timing and true embodiment of Buddy the Elf make Elf a film for the whole family. Elf’s lighthearted plot appeals to younger audiences, while its setting in present day New York and ability to address many aspects of Christmas specific to adults make it relatable to even those old and gray. Furthermore, Elf perfectly encapsulates the importance of family, especially during the Holidays. Buddy’s biological father Walter’s ability to recognize that family is far more important than a job (a reality that may be shocking to some) reminds adults to put down their computers once in a while and spend time with the ones that they love. Finally, Elf touches on the importance of individuality. While I will admit that Buddy makes some questionable choices throughout the film, his insistence on staying true to himself serves as an inspiration to all.
Marshmallows
Nathan:
Marshmallows: While some might argue that they are revolting, none can deny that they are a staple on any sort of holiday-themed drink. Whether on eggnog or hot chocolate, marshmallows add a perfect sense of sweetness and creaminess to whatever drink they’re added to. Not to mention, marshmallows bring a sense of nostalgia to the holiday season. Every bite sends you back to your younger ages, when you sat around the campfire telling stories, or built a snowman with your own two hands. You would be remiss not to include marshmallows in your holiday season festivities.
Morgan:
Marshmallows: Marshmallows are terrible. Yes. I said it. Sorry, not sorry. Someone had to say it. I don’t make the rules; I just follow them. Not only are do they lack any nutritional value, but they really are not that good. While some might argue that they are perfect for treats such as hot chocolate, hot chocolate is already sweet. Why in the world do you need to further sweetness to your beverage? Not only that, but when the marshmallows get soaked in hot chocolate, they become so slimy—why would you want to ingest that? Your body should be a temple. The only acceptable setting for marshmallows is s’mores. Point. Blank. Period.
The Polar Express
Nathan:
The Polar Express: When you think of The Polar Express, what do you visualize? An animated Christmas classic that is still watched years after its release date? A heartwarming story that highlights the magic of the Christmas season? If you believe in any of these statements, you are simply wrong for one reason: the fact that all of the characters look like they were animated by somebody who forgot what humans look like. Every time I tune in to watch this movie with my family, I have to mentally prepare myself for the horrors that lie within. Just looking at the facial expressions of each character is a challenge for me, and I have to hold back tears of joy when the movie screen finally fades to black. It is for this reason alone that this movie is not even a top 10 Christmas movie.
Morgan:
The Polar Express: While I admit the animation for The Polar Express could be better, nothing can match the nostalgia and joy I feel when viewing the film. From the magical world of the North Pole to which the movie transports us, to the message of always believing, The Polar Express is the true embodiment of what it means to care more about the journey than the destination. I know for me, personally, my Granddaddy read The Polar Express book to my sister and me when we were young, and the film reminds me and countless others of simpler times. Last but certainly not least, the soundtrack for the film is a cinematic and musical magnum opus. If your ears have not been blessed with the sweet sounds of a conductor raving about the existence of hot chocolate, go to Spotify right now and take a gander. You will not regret it. “You can do miracles when you believe” – Polar Express Soundtrack. I mean, come on.
Santa
Nathan:
Santa: To end this list off with a bang, we’ll now discuss the man, the myth, the legend: Saint Nicholas, better known to many as Santa Claus. Praised for his supposedly “good deeds,” children around the world act on their best behavior during the Christmas season, hoping it will lead to them receiving a gift. But is the so-called jolly old Saint Nick truly a good person? Think about it. Rather than do all the work himself, Santa Claus instead forces a species of small people to package all the gifts. While the elves labor intensely, Santa Claus sits in his office all day, snacking on the cookies he steals from the tables of people’s homes. Even when Santa Claus goes out to give gifts to the children, he still relies on the help of his reindeer to deliver the presents. With millions upon millions of presents on their backs, these poor reindeers are forced to carry a burdensome load through a cold, dark night, unable to stop or take any breaks. At the same time, Santa Claus ignores their suffering, instead choosing to simply shout, “Ho ho ho,” in order to maintain his facade of benevolent gift-giver. Clearly, Santa Claus is a tyrannical employer, who should never be respected by the general public.
Morgan:
Santa: An age-old question, the answer to this debate is clear. Santa is a great person, who is an integral aspect of Christmas and a role model for children around the world. Santa sparks magic in the world like none other and gives young children and adults a reason to keep going, even when the weight of the world seems to crush your spirit. Do you know how much work it is to provide toys and presents for every single child on earth? No, you don’t. The only one who truly does is Santa because that is exactly what he does. Year after year without fail. Just because Santa knows the true meaning of teamwork, he is not any worse of a person. Santa relies on his elves and reindeer because he knows that they will get the job done. Finally, his catch phrase of “Ho, ho, ho” reminds all of his presence and how—even when it is not Christmas—doing good is not a difficult ask. Hopefully, these Hot Takes brought you some cheer! In the words of NSYNC, Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from The Nobleman!
(Photo Credit: Avery Winder)