Nobles vs. Nature: Administrators in Agony

Emma Sawatsky, Staff Writer

October 20, 2023

Generations of Nobles student-athletes are bound together by one common thread: the beacon of hope that is the entrance to the Morrison Athletic Center (MAC). The promise of fresh air and exercise with friends is often what gets students through a long day of classes. This year, though, something is different. The iconic entrance to the MAC is now bereft of life, leaving a gaping hole where our cherished oak tree once was. All that remains is the all-too-familiar emblem of the Noble and Greenough School. An innocent attempt to spread school spirit? It appears not. 

No matter the season, this oak protected us from the pounding sun and offered shelter in the event of a downpour. On game days, its commanding and unassailable presence instilled fear in the opposition, warning them of the hallowed ground on which they walked. However, after arriving for fall preseason this year, athletes were stopped in their tracks. Unsure how to proceed without the one true constant in the history of Nobles athletics, students had just one question–why? One can only assume that the choice to replace the tree with the Nobles shield was not inadvertent, but instead a devious plot to cast impressionable brains into an N-shaped mold. 

Our sources report that the issue arose when the administration began to feel school spirit wane. All-school events seemed to be going out of style, with less and less participation from the student body. In their eyes, kids were diminishing the honor it is to study and thrive on our Dedham campus. Corrupting Buildings and Grounds in the process, it seems the administration has launched an aggressive propaganda campaign that can only be dubbed “Nobles vs. Nature.” 

It is not lost on the school’s higher-ups that trees, as it turns out, are intrinsically related to every facet of student life. The very air we breathe is a gift from these statuesque soldiers, as is the paper on which this article is printed. It’s difficult to compete with such a formidable presence, yet the administration knew that they had to make one final attempt to quell the trees’ power. 

Although just one tree has been decimated by navy and white so far, what’s stopping the administration from continuing its rampage? The Nobles community will undoubtedly suffer if nobody steps up to challenge this malign operation. We can expect an amendment to the dress code, emphasizing that every Nobles logo must be larger than a fist. This will undoubtedly be enforced by penalty of detention, in which you will read The Guide cover-to-cover. The acres of rolling green grass are at stake–rumor has it that blue turf will soon cover the entirety of campus, as green is simply not one of our school colors. The sky, thankfully, may remain blue, though a push for permanent nighttime would better reflect the idyllic shade of Nobles navy. 

The administration has spoken. In overtaking the epitome of nature’s power, our beloved oak tree, a shameless statement has been made.

(Photo Credit: Zack Mittelstadt)

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