by Zac Gordon, Staff Writer, February 2022
What many people do not understand is that the fate of their relationship rests on whether their significant other can pull together the right assortment of gifts and goodies. If you want to spend your Valentine’s Day frolicking around with your bae or pretending that one of you is Anastia Steele and the other is Christian Grey, you must first present your partner with only the purest thoroughbred race horse of a gift. This list should help you figure out what to get your partner on Valentine’s Day.
- Tickle Me Elmo
This is a great back-up when all the giant teddy bears are sold out.
- Lindt chocolates
- A wedding ring
Nothing screams “I’M READY TO COMMIT” like a wedding ring.
If you aren’t sure if they’ll say yes, do it in public… it works every time.
- A Swiffer
What better way to break down gender norms than to
get your boyfriend a swiffer.
- Oven mitts
See Swiffer above.
- A box of Altoids
Recent study states that 87 percent of Nobles students suffer from halitosis.
- Old Spice Deep Sea with ocean elements
If you are bent on breaking up with them for
their body odor, deodorant is a quick fix.
- A single anonymous rose from the CAC rose sale
Pay three dollars so that your crush can go on not knowing you exist.
- Prom-posing in the middle of class
If they say no, at least people will know that you
are on the market for a date.
With these gifts, you are guaranteed to show that special someone you care. *If these gifts unintentionally result in a break-up, please do not direct your complaints to Zac Gordon (Class II). Happy Valentine’s Day!